


Take Your Breath Away

by DashFlintceschi



Series: Prompt Table [6]
Category: You Me At Six
Genre: Brief body horror, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, M/M, The Supernatural, descriptions of gory burn injuries, died in a fire, doesn't know he's dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 22:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30096108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DashFlintceschi/pseuds/DashFlintceschi
Summary: Josh comes home from visiting family, but something isn't right. The more he sees, the more he doesn't want to understand.
Relationships: Dan Flint/Max Helyer
Series: Prompt Table [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/510521
Kudos: 2





	Take Your Breath Away

**Author's Note:**

> Number 6 - Personal Loss.
> 
> I tried to tag everything I could think of to be wary of when reading this, I may have missed something, so this is a general warning to approach with caution.

Josh is glad to be home. He loves getting to see his dad’s side of the family, and he likes that he can still feel the warmth of the Corsican sun on his skin, but there really isn’t anything as good as coming home. That is, until Dan comes down the stairs and brushes past him without so much as a glance in his direction. To be fair, he’s back three days earlier than he’d said he’d be, he doesn’t blame Dan for not noticing him when he wasn’t expecting him. But then he follows him into the kitchen, and Dan’s looking right at him as he cradles a mug of tea, and still nothing.

He stops for a moment to really look at Dan, something’s different, but he can’t put his finger on what it is. It’s not until Max brushes past and Josh gets a look at his white blond hair that it clicks. While he was gone, Max bleached his hair and Dan finally went back to his natural colour. But. No. That’s not the only thing. Something’s still not right. He keeps looking them both over, since neither of them has noticed him enough to mind yet, and he thinks he’s figured it out, but it only makes things stranger. 

They both have a lot more tattoos than when he left a few weeks ago. Way more than they could’ve gotten in that time. They’d both had a decent amount of tattoos when he last saw them, but now the arm they’ve each dedicated to tattoos; Dan’s right and Max’s left; are totally covered, Josh doesn’t think either of them could even fit another tattoo on their arms. And they’re not new. There’s no shiny, healing skin, they’re all well healed and even the tiniest bit faded.

Josh decides it’s some weird joke they’ve decided to play on him. He knows there’s sleeves you can get that make it look like you have tattoos, that must be it. He moves closer, knowing it’ll be obvious when he gets a better look, and he can call them out on it and they can all have a good laugh over it. But then he’s right in front of Dan and still there’s not even a quick shift of the eyes in his direction from either of them, and oh. Speaking of their eyes, now that he’s really looking, they both have the faintest hint of crow’s feet around their eyes, and maybe the beginning of laugh lines around their mouths. Now that’s a good trick, he’ll have to remember to ask how they did that.

Now that he’s close enough, he looks closer at Dan’s right arm, but he still can’t find the edge of the sleeve. He reaches out and touches Dan’s wrist, determined to find it, but he’s distracted when Dan startles and shivers, only just managing to keep his grip on his mug.

“You alright, mate?” Josh asks the question at the exact same time Max does, but they still don’t acknowledge him, they’re only looking at each other as Max frowns in concern and Dan smiles sheepishly as he shrugs.

“Yeah, just, someone walked over my grave, I guess. Or jumped on it.” He jokes, and Max relaxes as they both laugh softly. Josh frowns though, starting to get annoyed.

“Right, very good, you’ve had your joke, give it up now.” He sighs, but there’s no reaction from either of them, not even a flicker.

They chat about nothing important as they drink their tea, still ignoring Josh, even when he gets his hands around Dan’s mug and starts trying to tug it out of his grip, trying to force him to acknowledge him. But either he’s somehow gotten weaker, or Dan’s gotten a lot stronger, because it doesn’t budge, not even so much as a wobble. And still Dan won’t look at him. Or even notice as his shoulder hits against Josh’s as he moves to put his mug in the sink.

“Right, need to go, see you tonight, love.” Dan announces, kissing Max before grabbing his jacket and heading out. Which, that at least doesn’t surprise Josh, he’s seen that coming for months.

He tries again now that Dan’s gone, he’s always been good at getting Max’s poker face to crack, especially when none of the others are there to keep him steady. But still nothing, and then comes the thing that does startle Josh, when Max pulls a solid, silver ring off his left ring finger and sets it on the windowsill as he starts doing the dishes. That must be part of the joke, surely. They’ve been mooning over each other for months, but there’s no way they’d go from insisting it isn’t mutual to married in three weeks.

He figures if Max is so determined to ignore him, then he can’t complain if Josh goes nosying around in their stuff. He goes back out into the hall, admiring a coat he thinks is Max’s, a pair of boots that are probably Dan’s, then starts rifling through the stack of post on the table by the front door. He’s being as loud and obnoxious as he can, but still there’s no sign of a reaction from the kitchen. He doesn’t pay much attention to the post as he flicks through it, it’s mostly boring, but then he gets to a payslip. It looks like it’s from one of the recording studios in the city, but they’re usually giving those money, not getting it from them. He flips it closed to look at the front, conflicted about which part to be annoyed about when he sees it’s addressed to ‘Daniel Helyer-Flint’.

He huffs a sigh and drops the rest of the post back onto the table, neither noticing nor caring when the pile tips and scatters onto the floor. He marches back into the kitchen, waving the payslip around.

“Did you fuckers _honestly_ get married without me?! Are you fucking kidding me?!” He snaps, more hurt than anything, but it starts to turn to anger when Max still doesn’t look at him. He drops the payslip and moves over to the sink, grabbing Max’s shoulder harshly. “Answer me!” He yells, and finally he gets a reaction. Max’s head shoots up and he goes white as a sheet as he gasps. He spins around, looking everywhere but at Josh, his hands dripping water all over the floor.

“I’m going mad. I… Fuck. I need to get out of this house.” Max mutters to himself, quickly drying his hands and rushing out, not even seeming to notice the letters scattered on the floor, or his wedding ring still sat on the windowsill. 

Josh stares at it for a few seconds, then in a moment of pettiness, grabs it and slips it into the pocket of his jeans. If Max wants it back, he can give up on this stupid fucking game of theirs and ask for it. He sighs as he realises that no matter how annoyed or petty he’s feeling, he still can’t bring himself to leave a mess. He finishes the dishes Max abandoned, mops up the water from the floor once he’s done, and goes back and fixes the post, making sure it’s stacked neatly and evenly so it won’t tip over again.

He spends the day wandering the house, still nosying around their stuff and tidying as he goes. The only thing he finds of interest is a big glass cabinet full of photo albums in the living room, and the only reason it’s interesting is because it’s padlocked. Why the hell either of them would feel the need to lock it is beyond him. He spends the afternoon trying to pick the lock, and doesn’t pause his efforts when Dan comes home, almost desperate now for Dan to say something, to stop him and yell at him for snooping.

But he doesn’t, and neither does Max when he comes in soon after. Though Josh can excuse Max for it, since he doesn’t acknowledge Dan at first either. He rushes straight to the kitchen windowsill and swears when he finds it empty, quickly searching the sink and counters.

“Did you move anything when you finished the dishes?” He calls out to Dan, and Josh feels bad for the hint of panic in Max’s voice, but he’s sticking to his decision, Max can have it back when he looks Josh in the eyes and asks for it.

“I didn’t do the dishes, I thought you did. What’ve you lost?” Dan asks as he goes to help look, and Max freezes for a second before turning to him with big apologetic eyes.

“My wedding ring. I took it off when I started them earlier, but I… I got distracted and went out without it, it’s not here now.” He admits hesitantly, and Dan smiles reassuringly as he kisses the top of Max’s head.

“Well, it can’t have gone far on its own, we’ll find it.” He soothes, and Max relaxes a little as the two of them start hunting the kitchen for it. After a while, Josh sighs and gives up on his lockpicking for the moment, and goes to lean against the doorframe.

“I have your bloody ring, alright? Just stop being a dick and ask for it and you can have it back.” He huffs, but neither of them even glance up, just finish discussing their strategy as Dan crouches down and manages to lift the fridge just enough for Max to get a look underneath. “Come on, you’re taking this too far now, a stupid joke isn’t worth this and we all know it.” He demands, but they both just sigh as Dan sets the fridge back down when Max shakes his head.

“You definitely didn’t have it when you went out?” Dan checks, and Max takes a moment to think about it, but he knows he was too scared when he ran out to even think about picking it up. He doesn’t say that though, just shakes his head. “Right, then it’s definitely in here somewhere, and it’ll still be here in the morning. We’ll call it a night and spend the day tearing the place apart tomorrow.” Dan decides, and Max wants to argue, wants to keep looking, but he doesn’t want to give Dan the chance to ask him why he left in such a hurry, so he just sighs and nods.

It’s not until they’re in bed a while later, mostly asleep, that Max thinks to ask,

“Wait, then who finished the dishes?” All he gets is a sleepy “hm?” from Dan, but he ploughs on anyway, a bit more awake now that it’s bothering him. “You said you didn’t do them, right?” This time he gets an “mmhmm”, sleepier than the last. “I definitely didn’t finish them, didn’t even drain the water, so who did them?” He asks, and Dan sighs sleepily, pulling him closer and trying to get him to settle again.

“Mus’ve been the fairies.” He mumbles, and Max laughs softly, managing to let it go for now as he relaxes again and lets himself fall asleep.

Josh had gone back to the lock on the cabinet after they’d gone to bed, surprised he wasn’t tired yet and deciding to keep at it until he was. But around 3 AM, he starts feeling guilty about Max’s ring, still tucked safely into his pocket. He creeps up to their bedroom and carefully leaves it on the bedside table nearest Max, but as he’s rounding the end of the bed again to leave, Dan shifts and mumbles and starts to wake up. He lazily lifts his head and his eyes lock with Josh’s, and Josh can’t help feeling a little smug that one of them has finally acknowledged him, even accidentally. That is, until Dan’s eyes widen and he cries out in horror, scrambling to sit up, his eyes never leaving Josh’s face as he gropes for the light.

His hand finally finds the switch and his eyes leave Josh’s as light floods the room, his head swinging as he frantically searches every corner. Max finally wakes up enough to sit up and reach out for him then, pulling Dan against his chest as he murmurs comfortingly to him.

“It was...He was…” Dan stutters, starting to shake as he turns his face and buries it into Max’s shoulder as he starts sobbing.

“Shh, it was just a bad dream, you’re safe, I’ve got you.” Max coos, rubbing slow circles on Dan’s back as he strokes his hair, humming softly as Dan shakes his head frantically.

“It wasn’t a dream, he was there, he was… Oh god, his _face_!” Dan howls into Max’s shoulder, and Max shudders before managing to get a hold of himself again.

“I know, baby, I know. We’ve all had those nightmares, we’ve all thought about what he must’ve… The therapist said it’s normal, remember?” He soothes, but it doesn’t do much to help, he ends up spending most of the rest of the night calming Dan down enough to get him to drift into a fitful sleep.

Josh storms back downstairs, confused and angry and more than a little hurt. He goes right back to the cabinet again and has no idea why. He feels like all the answers are behind the glass, but that just doesn’t make sense. He growls in frustration and punches the glass, figuring he’ll pay for them to get it fixed later, but it doesn’t break, it barely even shudders. He keeps punching it for hours, but it barely moves and doesn’t even make enough noise to catch Max’s attention. When he finally gives up, he sighs and flexes his hand, and an idea comes to him. He goes to the kitchen and finds a jar of jam, scooping his finger into it as he carries it back into the living room and using it to smear “LET. ME. IN.” across the glass in the biggest letters he can manage. He’d like to see them ignore _that_.

When Max and Dan finally get up just before lunchtime, they’re already on edge, between Dan’s nightmare, and Max finding his wedding ring next to the bed. So it’s not much of a surprise when Dan walks into the living room, sees the jam smeared across the cabinet, and goes deathly pale, crying out in fear as his knees buckle. Thankfully Max is right behind him and manages to catch him, though he almost drops him and buckles himself when he sees it.

“It wasn’t a nightmare, was it?” He asks hoarsely, and Dan shakes his head, can’t even bring himself to say “I told you so.”

“Call Matt and Chris. They need… We need them.” He finally stutters out, and Max nods a little, practically carrying Dan as he walks them out to the back garden and lights a cigarette for them both.

Josh considers following them outside to listen in, and maybe find out why they’re so spooked, but the thought of going outside bothers him in a way he doesn’t understand, so he settles down in the armchair he’d claimed as his own, and just waits for them. He’s a little annoyed that they stay outside until Matt and Chris get there, but then he gets distracted, because they look a lot older too, and Chris’ hair is _short_. This is way too elaborate now, something weird is going on and hopefully now, as the four of them settle on the couch, he’ll find out what the fuck is happening.

Max and Dan still look pale and shaken, but Matt and Chris look as confused as he does, at least, and their eyes keep shooting over to the jam still smeared on the cabinet.

“So, is no-one going to take the hint and let me in there, then?” He sighs, but they still don’t look at him. Instead, Max takes a few deep gulps of tea and seems to steel himself.

“I heard Josh’s voice yesterday.” He finally says, and the three of them stare at him in shock as Josh frowns in confusion.

“Uh, yeah, maybe cause I was talking to you?” He snarks, frowning more as Matt’s hands shake slightly, tea almost sloshing out of his mug.

“That’s not funny. You know that’s not funny.” Matt says quietly, and Max sighs.

“I know it’s not. It scared the fuck out of me. I ran out of here as fast as I could, didn’t even put my wedding ring back on.” He pauses to take another drink, and Josh is so confused now, he can’t even think of anything snarky to say. “And it was gone, when I finally came back. My wedding ring. Tore the whole kitchen apart looking for it. No sign. But it was there on the bedside table this morning. And I didn’t put it there, I never put it there.” He continues, and Dan clears his throat.

“And you said you didn’t finish doing the dishes before you left, said the water was still in the sink and everything, but they were done, all stacked up, sink empty and cleaned, when I got home. The whole house had been tidied, actually.” He pauses, shuddering and draining his full mug in three deep gulps. Chris is about to say something when Dan finds his voice again. “And I saw him. I saw Josh, standing at the end of the bed last night. And I know. I know we’ve all had those nightmares, god knows, I know. But this was different. He looked… Confused. Like he didn’t know what was going on. Like he was scared. He’s never looked like that in my nightmares before.” None of them know what to say to that, Max just reaches out and takes Dan’s hand, gently squeezing it as the four of them sit in silence and try to figure out what to say.

“Right, what the actual fuck are any of you even talking about?” Josh finally finds his voice, growling in frustration when he still doesn’t get an answer, getting up from his chair so he can pace the room.

“And that?” Matt finally asks, nodding at the cabinet, and they both let out a shuddering breath.

“There when we got up, think I almost passed out when I saw it. If it’d been just that, I could’ve laughed it off as a sick joke, but all of it, then that…” Dan trails off, squeezing Max’s hand harder as his breath hitches. Chris hesitates for a moment, then slowly looks around the room.

“Josh? Are… Are you here?” He asks, his voice small, and the three of them stare at him.

“Of course I’m fucking here!” Josh roars, slamming his fist into the glass door again, and this time. This time they hear him. Their heads whip round and they stare at the cabinet; and unknowingly at Josh; as the door shudders for a moment and goes quiet.

“You all heard that, right?” Max asks quietly, and the three of them nod slowly.

“That was Josh’s voice.” Matt confirms, and Max lets out a sob.

“I thought I was going crazy when I heard him.” He chokes out, curling into Dan’s side as he pulls him close, his eyes still locked on the cabinet as he cries softly.

“Has he always been here? Do… Do you think he’s…?” Chris trails off, but Dan shakes his head.

“I don’t think so, this stuff, it’s never happened before, only yesterday and now.” He tells him, flinching when the cabinet rattles again as Josh smacks his hand against it impatiently. Max sits up then, his eyes wide with horror as a thought occurs to him.

“I-I don’t think he knows.” He whispers, horrified eyes meeting theirs. “When I heard him yesterday, he said ‘answer me’, like he thought I was ignoring him, and just then…” He trails off, he doesn’t have to finish, they all heard it. Why would he say it like that if he knew?

The cabinet rattles again, and though they don’t hear his voice, they know what he’s asking. “What the fuck don’t I know?” They steel themselves, knowing one of them has to say it eventually, but all praying someone else says it before they have to. Finally, Dan can’t take it anymore, looking towards the cabinet with tears in his eyes.

“Josh… Josh, you’re dead. You died ten years ago.” He whispers, and the silence that follows is deafening, the four of them straining to hear anything, anything at all, that might be Josh. But Josh is frozen, staring at them with wide eyes as he still tries to convince himself this is some kind of cruel joke.

After several minutes of silence, Dan slowly gets up and goes to the cabinet, lifting a chain from around his neck and using the key hanging from it to finally unlock it. Josh suddenly doesn’t want to know what’s in there anymore, is finally able to move as he presses his hands against the doors, desperately trying to hold them closed. Dan’s breath hitches as he feels the resistance, sees the handprints forming on the glass.

“You wanted the truth, love. This is the truth.” He says quietly, and the way he’s looking into Josh’s eyes and still seeing right through him scares Josh enough that he lets go and backs away. 

Dan sighs as the doors give, can’t decide if it’s in relief or not as he opens them and crouches down, reaching right to the back of the lowest shelf and carefully sliding out a dusty, faded photo album. He takes it to Josh’s armchair; even after all this time, it’s still his, always will be in their eyes; and sits on the floor in front of it, he can’t bring himself to sit in it.

“That was you yesterday, that feeling that someone had walked over my grave, that was you touching me, wasn’t it?” He asks softly, and Josh can’t bring himself to shout so they’ll hear him, so he sits in the chair and gently touches Dan’s shoulder, watching as a tremor runs down his arm and he shudders harshly again. “Yeah, I thought so. I can almost feel your hand. Almost.” His voice is shaky, choked with tears, and Max comes to sit on his other side, curling into him and rubbing his back comfortingly even as he cries his own tears. “Touch my shoulder again when you’re ready for me to turn the page.” He tells Josh softly, voice a little steadier now, and opens the album.

The first thing Josh sees is a newspaper clipping, and when he sees the date at the top, October 23rd 2014, he whimpers. He doesn’t know why, but seeing it fills him with terror. He sobs in fear, and they all flinch as they hear it far too clearly.

“Do you remember now?” Dan asks softly, his own tears coming faster as they hear Josh’s voice again, this time timid and barely there.

“No, no, I don’t want to remember, please.” He begs, and Dan wants to give in so badly, just close the album and hide it away again and just let it be. But he can’t. Josh needs to remember, and if he won’t look on his own, then they have to make him. Josh has his face in his hands, had hidden it there when he’d started to read the headline. _“One dead in bus fire.”_

“We didn’t know you were in there. You’d said you were going out with the support band, not to expect you before morning. We didn’t hear you come back early. So when the fire started, we didn’t think to check your bunk. We thought you were safe. Then we… Then we heard the screams. We tried so hard to get back in there. To get to you. But the police were already there, kept pulling us back. I got halfway in the door at one point before they managed to grab me.” Dan pauses, turning his arm over to show the faded burn scars on his palm and forearm while he tries to control his tears so he can catch his breath. 

“One of them ended up punching me to stop me trying again. They got there so fast, we thought maybe you… We knew it’d be bad, but at least you’d… But then you stopped screaming. I never knew silence could hurt so fucking much until you stopped screaming. They tried to say it was smoke inhalation, that you wouldn’t have felt anything, that what we heard was metal bending. But we knew. Those screams have haunted us every fucking day for ten years. We knew. I don’t blame you for not wanting to remember, I wish I could forget.”

The four of them are huddled together sobbing by the time Dan finishes. Josh still has his face in his hands, but now he can smell the smoke, knows that the heat he feels under his skin isn’t remnants of the sun, it’s flames. He slowly lifts his head and looks, seeing what he hasn’t wanted to all this time. His burned, tattered clothes; the charred, flaking skin on his hands; knows if he looked, his face would be a mess of melted skin and blood and singed tufts of hair. He’s spent the last two days desperately wishing they would see him, and now he’s so very glad they can’t.

He tries to figure out why he’s here, what he’s supposed to do, but he just feels lost and confused and scared. By the time he can almost think straight again, the others have mostly calmed down, still crying, but their sobs have quieted and don’t quite choke them as much now. Josh startles a little as Max moves suddenly, taking the album from Dan’s hands and closing it, getting up to return it to its place hidden away and taking a cleaner, newer looking album from one of the higher shelves. He makes sure the other three can see, and sits where he thinks Josh should have a good view, and opens the cover. 

He doesn’t pause long on the title page, just long enough for Josh to see 2007 written in Dan’s neatest handwriting and wonder where this is going. It’s when Max turns to the next page that Josh’s breath catches in his throat. Both pages are filled with as many photos as Dan could fit of their first few weeks as the band they are now. Were. Dan sobs softly as he gently touches one of the photos with his fingertips. It’s one of the very first photos taken of all five of them together, they’d still barely known Dan then, but still, Josh’s arm is just as tight around his shoulders as the one he has around Chris, making sure he’s just as much a part of the photo as the rest of them.

“I never did thank you. You and I never even met until the day I joined the band, but from day one, you did everything you could to make sure I was just as much a part of the band as the rest of you. It didn’t matter to you that I was three years late to the party, I was there now and that was all you cared about. That’s always meant so much to me and I never got around to thanking you for it.” Dan says tearily, feeling comforted by the shudder that runs through him at the vaguely hand shaped cold spot on his back.

They spend some time looking through the album and reminiscing, and Josh can tell they do this often, and that the fact they’re crying the whole time has nothing to do with him being there. It seems to be cathartic for them, and Josh feels lighter too. There’s still the huge ball of fear and pain and ohmygodwhatthefuck that came from being forced to remember, but it’s easier to handle now. He starts wondering again why he’s here, and an idea comes to him. When they get to the end of the album, Matt goes to get up to get the next one, but freezes when he feels an icy touch on his shoulder. Josh puts everything he has into being heard, and though his voice is soft and wavering, they hear him.

“Tell me what I missed, tell me about now.” He practically begs, and they’re happy to indulge him.

They take turns telling him everything he missed, Max and Dan seamlessly switching back and forth as they tell him about their wedding; how Max didn’t have a best man, just an empty space where Josh should’ve been; how every moment of the planning, ceremony, and reception had space for Josh’s memory. They all make it clear that there’s been a chair left empty for him at every single event and even slightly special occasion since the day he died, they’ve never stopped thinking about him and never will. They talk for hours, making sure they don’t miss a single detail, bringing out several more albums to show him the photos that go with their stories.

When they finally run out of things to tell him, Dan starts to get up to put everything away, getting to his knees and turning to brace himself on the arm of the chair. He freezes then, eyes wide as he takes a shuddering breath.

“God, you were so fucking young.” He whimpers, and Josh’s head shoots up, and this time, when their eyes meet, Dan doesn’t look through him.

“You can see me.” It’s supposed to be a question, but he’s too surprised. Dan answers anyway, nodding as he presses the back of his hand to his mouth, trying in vain to control his trembling lip.

“I see you.” He chokes out, and now all four of them are staring at him, looking like their hearts are breaking all over again. Josh looks down at his arms, praying they aren’t seeing what he finally saw before, but thankfully, his skin is smooth and pale again.

“I was right. About why I’m here. I needed to know you were okay.” He tells them softly, looking up at them again with a smile, and Max sobs softly. Dan was right. They’d known he died far too young, barely twenty-four, but seeing him from their mid-thirties, and not just a photo, right here, smiling and moving and being, he’s just _so fucking young_ and it makes the pain raw again in a whole new way.

Finally, Josh’s words sink in, and Dan manages to give him a wobbly smile.

“I don’t think we’ll ever be okay without you, Jay, but we’re managing, we’ve learned how to cope.” He tells him quietly, knowing that the fact they can see him now is some kind of progress and hoping he hasn’t ruined it. But Josh stays solid and whole and smiling, though his smile has turned sad now.

“Well, that’s close enough to okay for me.” Josh nods, pausing and tilting his head to the side for a moment. “I feel… Oh. I think I’m going now.” He tells them shakily, scared again now. His eyes fill with tears as he starts to reach out to them, stopping and letting his hand drop when he remembers he won’t be able to cling to them the way he wants to. He takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes, forcing himself to smile. “Remember me this way, yeah? Fight the nightmares and the screams with the memory of me like this.” He encourages, waiting for them all to nod in silent promise before closing his eyes with a smile.

They watch and fight the urge to beg him to stay as he takes a deep breath and sighs contentedly, and slowly fades away. They wait for several minutes, for any kind of sign he’s still there; the soft wisp of his voice, the chill of his hand on their shoulders, literally anything. But nothing comes, and the air feels different, almost empty. Finally, Dan accepts that Josh is really, fully gone now, and slowly stands up, gathering the scattered photo albums and moving to put them away at last. When they’re back where they belong, he closes the doors on the cabinet, stopping and biting his lip when the light catches them and he sees Josh’s handprints, still solid and clear on the glass.

From then on, they all talk to Josh as if he’s still there, they know he’s moved on now and won’t come back, but talking to him, keeping him updated on their lives, gives them a feeling of peace they’d never managed to have before, and helps keep the memory of how he looked that day clear in their minds, which makes it easier to keep their promise, it’s easier than any of them had thought it would be, to focus on that memory every time his screams start ringing in their ears again, every time they wake up choking on sobs, and use it to ease the pain and soothe their broken hearts again.

The thing that really helps them, though, is how very carefully Dan cleans around the handprints on the cabinet. He always makes sure he doesn’t so much as smudge the edges, and those physical reminders of his presence, guarding the physical reminders of the time they had with him, calms and soothes them in a way nothing else ever could. They’ll never really be okay without Josh, but as long as they keep managing, then that’s close enough.


End file.
